The Ed Who Played with Fire
by Aspergirl
Summary: Eddy makes a deal with the devil. Well, his brother. It seemed so innocent at first, but time will test whether the deal was worthwhile. Rated for language and slash.
1. The Ed Who Played with Fire

Note: I don't own the Eds and I am writing for pleasure, not profit. That said, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

By the light of the lava lamp, three Eds sat slurping root beer and being glad that it was Friday. Especially Eddy, who saw school as just an obstacle on his path to manhood. Eddy thumped his chest and washed down a handful of pork rinds with a swig of root beer. "Nobody put any hair on his chest learning a tangent about a... uh... hypotony. Yep. But I think those cheerleader babes were checkin' out these angles!" Eddy flexed and leaned forward to make sure his two pals got an eyeful of his six or seven chest hairs.

Double D only sighed, but Ed was fascinated. "Wow! Girls go crazy over werewolves these days! Lucky dickens," gushed Ed, looking longingly down at his hairless chest.

"I thought about doodling some extra ones, but I don't want to shock the chicks with my maturity."

That was too much for Double D. "Maturity? Please. A few hairs on one's chest a man does not make, Eddy."

"And this is coming from a guy in a yellow sleeper," Eddy whispered to Ed, pointing at Double D's pyjamas and trying to hold in his laughter.

Double D ignored this, already engulfed in thoughts of geometry. From his overnight bag, Double D produced his textbook. "The world of sines, cosines, and tangents is ripe for discovery! Knowledge is a necessary stop on the path to maturity."

"Whatever you say goes in one ear and out my nose, Double D," said Ed with a smile and a thumbs-up. He was happy to be anywhere that was void of broccoli and anger.

Eddy reclined and put on a Pink Floyd record. "Yeah, whatever you say." Reaching under his bed, he pulled out a glossy, unopened magazine. "I got the latest issue of the..."

Ed shouted with excitement. "Oh! Oh! Is it the latest _Chicks Galore_? It comes with a poster of a bunch of little chicks eating seeds." Leaning across Double D for a better view of the magazine, Ed tried to see the cover.

"No, Skunk-Pits." Taking another look at the cover himself, Eddy added, "Though it comes with a poster of chicks eating seeds, too," he said, with a salacious grin.

Double D gasped, "Oh my!" and covered his mouth. Although taken aback, a small part of him felt compelled to get a look. Not that he would say so to Eddy.

Ed let his tongue hang out. "Oh, goody!" Even though he had taped the _Chicks Galore_ poster in a place of honour in his room, being able to see it at Eddy's house was a treat.

"It's the latest issue of _Jiggy Jiggy_! Available only to VIP members."

Double D raised an eyebrow. "And how, may I ask, did you acquire access to such an 'elite' brotherhood? I believe such a thing typically requires validation that you are of age."

"Pffff," said Eddy. "When you're as manly as I am, people can smell it a mile away!"

Double D whispered to Ed, "It sounds as though Eddy is confusing bromhidrosis and inexpensive cologne with manliness." Ed giggled. He enjoyed being the interceptor of Eddy and Double D's playful joking. Delighted as he was to be friends with both Eddy and Double D, he wished that he could be friends with them the way they seemed to be with each other. The smiles were different. Better.

Maybe it was because he wasn't enough of a man yet. He didn't have any hair on his chest, and he was still held a couple of years back from geometry. Ed thought deeply about how he could show Eddy and Double D that he too was a man. He raised his arm and took a whiff of his one-time white undershirt. "Smell me, for I am a man."

Everything in the room began to yellow and curl, including Eddy's precious new edition of _Jiggy Jiggy_. Covering his nose, Eddy tried to force Ed's arm down. "Hey, hey, shut it down, Lumpy!" Ed complied, and returned to the bowl of pork rinds.

"P.U.!" said Eddy. "Ed will be as macho as I am when he sprouts some fuzz," he laughed, pointing at Ed's chest and waiting for Double D to agree. "Double D?" Eddy looked for Double D, but he had disappeared. Seconds later, the reason for his speedy departure could be heard loud and clear.

Ed nudged Eddy. "I saw a movie like this once. A man, horribly mutated by toxic waste fumes, was able to turn the townspeople into his mutant army with one blast of his stench. The mutation began with the victim blowing chunks and..."

Eddy covered his ears. "Shut up, Ed! I'm turning into a zombie listening to that."

"Cool! At the end of the movie, the day was saved by a tribe of zombies who..."

Tuning out Ed's movie review, Eddy waited for Double D to return. _If geometry is the manliest skill he's got, he's not gonna get too far with the ladies. _He was sympathetic to Double D's response to Ed's strong smell. While waiting for Double D, Eddy took another gulp of root beer, burped, and opened up the VIP magazine while Ed struck manly poses in front of the mirror. These largely consisted of Ed flexing his monobrow.

Double D returned, still looking somewhat queasy, but ever polite. "Ed," he said, sitting down next to the lovable oaf, "Do try to keep your masculine musk under control for the sake of our olfactory receptors, please."

"Okey dokey, Artichokey!" Ed replied without offense.

"Check it out, boys," said Eddy, holding up the centrefold for his friends to see. Double D went instantly scarlet and pulled his hat down over his eyes. He peeked with one eye, then hid his face again. Ed stared and sipped his root beer. Then he wanted to put his hands in his lap, but there wasn't room. The picture gave his belly that wiggly, crawly feeling that it got when Nazz talked to him. Pointing, he asked, "What's that, Eddy?"

Eddy looked at the picture, and back at his pals. Ed waited with anticipation to hear what the response would be, while Double D waited to hear how Eddy would come up with a response at all. Now that the comprehensive centrefold was removed from Double D's line of vision, he was content to watch Eddy, who wiped his forehead.

"Well, Ed, uh, it's some kind of a... maybe the... um... hey, if we wanted to think, we'd read the articles. Just look and you'll figure it out." Ed leaned forward and Eddy handed him the magazine and a set of tongs to turn the pages. "Don't get anything on that magazine. I have to give it back in prime condition." Ed took the matter seriously, nodded, and disappeared under the bed.

Eddy's comment caught Double D's attention. "I knew that you did not acquire this compendium of carnality unassisted! Where did it come from?"

Eddy had been laughing at Ed, who was trying to figure out the picture as Eddy had promised. He turned the magazine this way and that. He was no closer to making sense of the picture, but the wiggly crawly feeling seemed to be traveling through his body.

"Well?" Double D demanded, becoming increasingly suspicious.

Eddy sprawled across his bed. "Why? You plannin' to start your own secret stash? Might loosen you up a little."

"You're evading my inquiry." He sat next to Eddy and waited.

"Fine. You really wanna know?" blared Eddy. "I got it from my brother. Satisfied?"

Double D turned pale, and looked as though he might be sick again. He spoke softly, not wanting anyone to hear. Not even Ed. "But Eddy, I thought that after our recent rendezvous with your savage sibling that you would absolve yourself of him. Surely he wanted something in return for lending you his personal... material."

"Nah," said Eddy. "He's a jerk, but he's cool sometimes. I just gave him a spare house key so he can get anything he needs in his old room. That's no skin off my ass," Eddy leaned down the edge of the bed to turn over the record.

Immediately, Double D flopped onto his back and placed his feet on the headboard of Eddy's bed. "Circulate, circulate," Double D said to himself, seeking to alleviate his increasing light-headedness. Then to Eddy he sputtered, "Have you gone mad? How can you sleep knowing that at any moment your brother could appear on your doorstep?"

"Easy. He doesn't want any of the stuff in his room, or he would have come back to get it by now. Plus, the guy lives in a trailer. Where's he gonna put a life size stuffed camel?"

"I suppose you're right," said Double D, sitting up and feeling surprisingly reassured by Eddy's words.

"We got nothin' to worry about, Sockhead," Eddy said, giving Double D a pat on the back. "He's got a driver's license and a credit card, which means we have a sweet hook-up. It also means we get..." Eddy reached under his pillow and produced three mega jawbreakers. "These!"

Double D's eyes lit up. "Could this be true?" he squealed as Eddy handed him a delicious jawbreaker. Double D licked the jawbreaker and savoured it. "Mmmm. Perhaps your brother has reformed, turned over a new leaf!" said Double D.

Watching Double D passionately licking the jawbreaker, Eddy had trouble averting his eyes. "You bet," said Eddy, inhaling a jawbreaker. "Hey, Ed. Heads up, I got a jawbreaker for ya!" When no response came, Eddy was confused. Ed could locate food in his sleep. He would have to respond to a jawbreaker when he was awake. "Ed?"

Ed's face appeared over the edge of the bed. "Uh... hi, Eddy," said Ed. His voice sounded strange and his demeanour was strange... for Ed, that is. When Ed laid eyes on the jawbreaker, the old Ed came right back. "Jawbreaker! Give to Ed!"

"Here ya go, Slugger," said Eddy, tossing the jawbreaker into the air. Like a trained dolphin, Ed leapt up to catch the jawbreaker and disappeared back under the bed.

Moments later, Ed returned with one cheek puffed up to store the jawbreaker. "Oh yeah. I didn't get anything on your magazine, just like you said, Eddy! But it got on..."

"Don't need the details," Eddy said, emphatically.

Ed yawned wide enough for Eddy and Double D to see the jawbreaker as well as his tonsils. He then gave his friends a sleepy smile.

"I am feeling quite drowsy as well," said Double D, who had caught Ed's yawn.

The yawn spread to Eddy. "Yeah, I'm beat. G'night." Eddy snapped on his hair net and burrowed into his covers. Ed had simply flopped backwards with his jawbreaker still in his open mouth. Double D enjoyed his jawbreaker a few minutes longer, then carefully removed it and placed it in a plastic bag for later. He measured the jawbreaker and placed a sticky note reading "0.83 Jawbreaker" on the plastic bag. After brushing his teeth, he returned to Eddy's room, crawled into his sleeping bag and turned off the lava lamp. As he dozed off in the dark, he thought, _Perhaps I judged Eddy's brother too harshly. He may not be such a bad fellow after all. I would not condone the furnishing of one's younger sibling with scandalous reading material, but anyone who, out of the goodness of his heart, provides others with fine delicacies deserves another chance._ With that, Double D licked his lips again, thinking about finishing off the jawbreaker the following day, and he soon fell asleep.

Except for Ed's snoring, the house was quiet. All that could be heard in the cul-de-sac was the rustle of dry leaves in the night air. Until the rumble of an engine became audible and a car pulled up and parked on the side of the street. A figure emerged from the car and unlocked Eddy's front door.


	2. Eds Don't Cry

The door barely gave a creak as it was pushed open and locked from within. The disco ball key chain caught a flicker from the street lamp. "Let's see what Pipsqueak has for me," Eddy's brother wondered with a dry laugh. He spun the key around his finger and placed it back in his jacket pocket. Looking down, he could see three pairs of shoes lined up by the door. One pair was Eddy's. Another pair was too big and another pair was too small. "I'm getting paid back with interest!"

Eddy's brother smirked with pride in his talent for con artistry. "I gave that little horndog his fix. He agreed to let me come get anything I want in my room, but he didn't say it had to be mine... yet." Eddy's brother stealthily crept down the hall. He had been out of the house for years, but he had no trouble getting around the place in the dark. Hearing the sound of snoring coming from Eddy's room, Eddy's brother prepared to collect. "I am the man with the scam. Little Eddy will never know all my tricks!"

Sitting for several silent minutes outside Eddy's door, Eddy's brother listened. When he was certain that everyone inside was asleep, he opened the door a crack and peered in. His eyes were accustomed to the darkness. Like a jungle cat in search of prey, Eddy's brother slipped through the door. On top of Eddy's dresser was an array of items. Some were of particular interest, such as a Barry White concert ad from 1974, some ticket stubs, and a Tom Jones tour program, signed by "the Voice" himself. Some things were mundane, like the lighter with "Fuck Communism" written on the side and the pair of knock-off sunglasses. Other things were just strange, like the bottle cap with a squiggly smile drawn on it. After surveying the collection, Eddy's brother shrugged and swept all the items into an empty pocket. "Finders keepers."

He clicked on the lighter and looked across the floor for anything else that looked worthwhile. He stepped carefully over Ed, who was grunting and twitching in his sleep. In Ed's head, a war between the stench-mutants and the zombies was being fought, so Eddy's brother slipped past, unnoticed. Seeing that Ed's overnight bag was a gym bag with a few holes and mysterious stains on it, Eddy's brother did not investigate further. "Goddamn, this one's useless," Eddy's brother muttered, giving Ed's head a tap with his foot. Ed growled and clawed with his hands, then rolled onto his side and began to drool.

Eddy's brother made a grab for Double D's bag. Inside, clothes were neatly folded atop the geometry textbook, and the carefully bagged and labeled jawbreaker was tucked into a pocket. _What? No loot?_ Eddy's brother was growing frustrated. He then removed a black case labeled "Medical Supplies." There was a box of sticky-aid bandages, a splint, gauze, little strips of paper. There were also syringes and a bottle of fluid labeled "Rx." _Ka-ching! Now we're talkin', _thought Eddy's brother, scooping the syringes into his pocket.

Satisfied with his swag, Eddy's brother turned to leave, but looked down to see Double D's face, not peacefully asleep as moments before, but eyes wide as dinner plates. Eddy's brother stopped; he would have recognized those feminine features anywhere. Bending down, Eddy's brother placed a hand firmly over Double D's mouth. With the other, Eddy's brother yanked Double D out of the sleeping bag. Double D simply hung in Eddy's brother's grasp, frozen in terror. "Hello, sweetheart," Eddy's brother purred.

Not even bothering to check on Eddy, who was mumbling in his sleep, Eddy's brother tucked Double D under his arm like a football. _Finders keepers!_ Now that he had gotten everything he wanted, Eddy's brother stalked down the hall to his den. Once inside, Eddy's brother shut the door and applied a combination lock.

Calmly, Eddy's brother placed Double D feet first onto the floor. Before Eddy's brother could remove his collection of pilfered goodies from his jacket pockets, Double D zipped back to the locked door and fought to open the door all in vain. Looking at the lock, Double D murmured, "Four places. Zero to 9, that's ten possible digits per place. Ten to the power of four is 10,000 possible sequences! It would take hours to deduce the correct one."

Eddy's brother shook his head and opened his fridge to get himself a beer and a bed. He laughed as he opened the bottle with his teeth and saw Double D pace the floor. Eddy's brother said nothing, just watched Double D as a cat watches a trapped mouse.

Double D scurried past the bed and opened the window blind to find a brick wall, a reminder of Eddy's brother's knack for pranks. Feeling a set of eyes on him, Double D put as much distance between himself and Eddy's brother as he could. Unable to settle his nerves, he hoped to rationalize with the irrational. "Mister Eddy's brother, we seem to have a misunderstanding, a perturbation, of sorts. You were acquiring a number of inanimate objects from your younger sibling in exchange for your questionable 'services'. As I am very animated indeed, would you be so kind as to allow me to return to Eddy's room, please?" He clasped his hands and looked hopeful, but Eddy's brother was stolid and immovable.

"Miss your boyfriend already? We'll see what we can do about that. Let's go." Eddy's brother beckoned Double D with a wave of his arm.

Thinking his ordeal was over, Double D made a move for the door. His limbs behaved strangely after being seized up for some time. As he approached Eddy's brother, a big hand stopped him. "Hold on, baby," Eddy's brother scolded, catching Double D by the shoulder. "Your boyfriend and I made a deal, see," said Eddy's brother. "And I'm afraid I've got you until I've gotten _everything I need in my old room_."

The deal was just as Eddy had told him earlier that night, but Double D found Eddy's brother's version much less reassuring. _Naturally, I should have expected there to be fine print,_ thought Double D, trying to convince himself that he was still in his sleeping bag and that a little change in brain wave activity would take the whole scene away.

It was clear that Eddy's brother was very much real when he pulled Double D in closer. Double D trembled and turned his head away when Eddy's brother ran his hands across the yellow sleeper. "What's the matter?" Eddy's brother cooed. "Pipsqueak hasn't laid a hand on you yet? He's a real gentleman." He pushed Double D down onto the bed. "Listen, I've had more than a few girls before. I'm a real man, but I ain't gonna be gentle."

For a moment, Double D lay motionless to make sense of what was happening to him. Then, as if jolted by electricity, Double D made a desperate bid for freedom, straining against the hand that pinned him down. Quickly realizing that the escape was impossible, and that his attempts only amused his captor, Double D cried out. "EDDY! Your brother is here..." Double D's voice trailed off when he saw that Eddy's brother's grin remained unchanged. Sure enough, there was no response from the outside.

Eddy's brother placed a finger on Double D's lips to close them. "Sound proof walls. Installed 'em myself. We don't want to be disturbed, now do we?" Eddy's brother removed the finger from Double D's lips and kissed Double D deeply, forcing his tongue into the sweet boy's mouth. Feeling the boy struggle beneath him made it even sweeter. Double D pressed his eyes closed, trying to put his mind elsewhere, far away.

With reason failing him, Double D attempted to appeal to Eddy's brother's sensibilities. "I implore you, have mercy! In my parents' domicile I have a powerful electron microscope worth its weight in knowledge, and..." Double D heard himself say, "money."

For a few seconds, Eddy's brother seemed to mull over the offer. But turning back resolutely to his prey squirming below him, Eddy's brother explained, "Now why would I want money, when I can have Eddy's honey?" Restraining Double D with one hand, Eddy's brother reached for the zipper on Double D's sleeper, slowly pulling it down. Double D fought to push the invasive arm away. "Mmm, still got that spunk. Let's see what else you got for me. A soft pussy to match those soft lips?"

The language was foreign to Double D, although his vocabulary was unsurpassed. He blushed and clenched his fists. Eddy's brother fed on Double D's sensitivity and slid the zipper all the way down, leaving the sleeper open and Double D's tense body exposed. While not disappointed – or even surprised – by what he found between Double D's legs, he enjoyed making Double D aware of his place, that of the little sissy girl that Eddy's brother had momentarily mistaken him to be, just a few weeks before. A hand slid up between Double D's legs. Reaching Double D's tender inner thighs, the boy shuddered. "Easy, sweetheart," hissed Eddy's brother. The hand moved higher to grasp Double D's groin.

Double D, who always did his best to abide parental sticky notes, he had occasionally gone against the letter of the law. One such sticky note was the one placed prominently in his bathroom to discourage him from his biological urges. _Is this a punishment meted out by the powers that be? If only I had heeded mother and father..._ Feeling as though he had betrayed his parents, he in turn felt betrayed by his erection, responding to Eddy's brother's touch. Double D arched his back. He desperately wanted Eddy's brother to stop, but was unable to protest. Legs quivering, Double D moaned, grasping the covers. Orgasm came quickly, and for that instant, Double D was able to forget Eddy's brother, forget the unease that came with being in an unlabeled room.

Then Double D thought of Eddy. After Eddy was rescued from his brother's pummeling, Double D had clasped Eddy's hands in his. He wished that he had simply told Eddy the truth that after years of scams and sucking succulent jawbreakers, Double D wanted a different kind of sweetness from Eddy. That was the way things should have been. Instead, Eddy's one-time hero of a brother had stepped in again to do his dirty work. _Curse my inhibition. Why didn't I come clean with Eddy when the opportunity presented itself?_ _How will Eddy react if he finds out about tonight? He might be too repulsed to look at me again._ The thought of Eddy disappearing from his life was unbearable. It took all of Double D's effort to suppress the need to cry, because he knew that crying would only further excite Eddy's brother. Double D's eyes stung, but he bit his lip. This was as good as foreplay for Eddy's brother, who knew he was breaking through Double D's sharp-tongued sarcasm and breaking Double D down.

Eddy's brother pressed himself onto Double D and kissed him roughly. Sandpaper-like stubble on Eddy's brother's chin scratched against Double D's face. His sensitive skin burning, Double D turned his head to the side to protect himself. Eddy's brother pulled Double D's face back towards him and continued. Double D tried to cover his face with his hands, but Eddy's brother grasped the slender wrists and yanked them out of the way. "Mmm, I like feisty," said Eddy's brother, pulling back. "Remember our deal. I did something for you, and now I'm cashin' in."

Sliding out of his baggy jeans and boxers, Eddy's brother began to grind his hips against Double D, making sure that his growing erection was obvious to his captive. Double D was startled, and he kicked his legs in a reflex, inadvertently kneeing Eddy's brother in the stomach. Not at all winded, but very much incensed, Eddy's brother used his weight to restrain Double D's arms and legs. "You fuckin' want rough? I'll show you what rough is!" His eyes fell on Double D's hat. "First, let's see what you're hiding under that sock."

Double D struggled against the body that held him down, but he could not budge. "No! Please!" begged Double D, but his pleas went unheard, as Eddy's brother was already pulling the black cap away. Whimpering, Double D could only wait for Eddy's brother to respond.

Eddy's brother went silent, then burst into fits of laughter. Shaking his head, he sputtered, "Shit, no wonder you cover that up with this old sock. Did you lose a fight with a lawn mower?"

Never mind that the remark was an erroneous cliché. Double D felt exposed, violated in every sense. Blushing deeply, Double D let his lip quiver. His eyes filled with tears, but he fought a losing battle to keep them from falling. Double D sobbed, wishing more than ever that he could escape and hide his shame. Coldly watching Double D defenseless beneath him and listening to his cries, Eddy's brother spun the hat around his finger. "Alright, freak. You'll get your sock back. Once I'm finished with you, that is." With tears still falling, the fragile boy lowered his head as Eddy's brother placed a firm hand on Double D's bottom and forced abrasive kisses down his neck.


	3. Separating the Men from the Eds

_Messy, messy, messy,_ thought Double D. _I desperately need to wash!_ His hands writhed without purpose as he fought the compulsion to wash them. The more he fought, the stronger the need to wash became. He wanted a shower. He wanted to wash away everything: the unknown microorganisms, the feeling of his clammy skin, Eddy's brother's forceful groping. Tears streamed down Double D's face, and he whimpered as Eddy's brother dug his fingernails into Double D's sensitive skin.

Eddy's brother tossed the hat onto his own head, laughing as Double D closed his eyes and shuddered. Fingers sliding back between Double D's legs, Eddy's brother had difficulty bending Double D to his will, quite literally. The brittle rigidity of Double D's figure attempting to curl into a fetal position was made more problematic by the trembling sobs that wracked Double D's whole body. To catch Double D's attention, Eddy's brother draped a forearm across Double D's neck. "Keep still!" he demanded.

Double D thrashed and squeaked, "I can't breathe!" Then he went limp, his eyes closing and tears spilling down his cheeks. Eddy's brother removed the arm, delighting in playing with the fragile boy's life. Double D's eyes fluttered open again, but he was now too afraid to move.

Now that Double D was putty in his hands, Eddy's brother took it upon himself to explore Double D's most private regions. Quickly, Eddy's brother inserted one finger, then two. The pain showed on Double D's face. He threw his head back and wailed. Now his personal space had been taken away, too. No alteration in brain activity could make this disappear. But he was obedient to a fault, and kept still as Eddy's brother ordered, unable to stop crying but unwilling to make a sound.

While Double D could see Eddy's brother's mouth moving, his pain muffled out the words. "How's that for ya?" sneered Eddy's brother, pushing his fingers farther inside. "Quit cryin', honey. I'm just warming you up." Eddy's brother was more than warmed up. For him, there was no aphrodisiac quite like stolen innocence garnished with spunk. He had done it to any girl he could get his hands on. Holding the helpless boy down, Eddy's brother could not wait any longer.

Withdrawing his fingers, Eddy's brother grasped Double D's legs. A sigh of temporary relief escaped through the gap in the smaller boy's teeth. _Perhaps this is over,_ thought Double D, still trying to be optimistic. _I can go back to Eddy – oh my! I mean, Eddy's room – and we can behave as if none of this ever transpired._ Leaving out a plan for recovery from Eddy's brother's "compensation", Double D focused on a shower. Washing healed most wounds, or at least made them more bearable.

Just then, the callous, callused hands wrapped completely around Double D's calves, yanking Double D towards the edge of the bed. Once again, Double D's hopes of escape were dashed. Swallowing hard, Double D prepared for the pain that he knew would come. Eddy's brother lifted Double D's legs and thrust himself inside.

Agony. Compounding Double D's desire to wash and his concerns about Eddy. Double D sobbed as Eddy's brother took him. He had never before felt so dirty.

"What'sa matter? Soon you'll be lovin' my shovin'," boasted Eddy's brother, confident in his masculine prowess. Eddy's brother wiped his forehead and watched himself entering and pulling out of Double D. A drop of blood fell onto the bedsheets. With each thrust, more blood trickled down. The deal was nearly paid off. Eddy was due for a reminder of who was in charge, as far as Eddy's brother was concerned. Double D needed to be put in place too, and this was a fine demonstration of the food chain, of which Double D was at the very bottom.

Higher up in the food chain, hibernating beside Eddy's bed, was Ed, whom Eddy's brother had largely ignored. Ed's stomach, however, was awake. To satisfy its growls, Ed lumbered in the direction of the kitchen, only to smash directly into Eddy's partially open door. Ed's head gave a hollow thud as it bounced off the door, but Ed did not wake up until he stubbed his toe on Eddy's dresser. Ed opened his sleepy eyes and looked down at his swelling red toe in the dim light as the information traveled to his brain.

The response came exploding out of him suddenly, "YOW! Foot hurts!" He sat down and touched his toe. "Ugh!" he pulled away, looked at the toe, and gave it another squeeze. "Nnngh!"

Abruptly awakened from dreams of being a jawbreaker tycoon at the top of the Forg's 500 list, Eddy grabbed a pillow and clutched it around his head. He was still able to hear Ed's roars. Heaving the pillow aside and switching on the lava lamp, Eddy grumbled, "What are ya yelling about?"

"My toe hurts when I touch it," Ed complained.

"Then don't touch it, Lumpy."

Ed looked at the toe and then back at Eddy. "If I don't touch it, I won't know if it still hurts. Do you have an empty head, mister?"

Eddy lunged out of bed and knocked Ed down. Ed thought it was a game and shot across the room, his toe now forgotten. Eddy turned to chase Ed, but the first thing he noticed was his barren dresser. "What gives?" Eddy demanded. "Where'd all my shit go?" He looked high and low, but it had all vanished. He leapt again at Ed and attempted to pry open his mouth. "You better not have eaten it!" Eddy threatened, all too familiar with Ed's late night eating sprees.

His stomach gurgling, Ed gave it a smack and listened. "Sounds like pork rinds and crayon shavings." Ed had little appreciation for Eddy's displeasure until he remembered what he had left on the top of the dresser. "Oh no! Phillip is lost!" He ran to the dresser and placed his finger directly on one empty spot.

Eddy, running short on patience, asked with little interest, "Phillip? What's Phillip?"

"Phillip is my friend. I found him on top of a bottle of Mr. Fizz."

Already, Eddy was losing interest. Plank was one too many inanimate pals for him. Besides, Ed had the attention span of a gnat, and would certainly forget about Phillip the bottlecap soon. "That's fan-freakin'-tastic. Hey Double D, I don't know how you're keeping your mouth shut through all this." When there was no response, Eddy continued. "No way you're sleeping. Get..." Eddy shuffled through Double D's sleeping bag, only to find it empty.

Ed bent down and looked in the empty sleeping bag. "The stink mutants took Phillip and Double D! They always take the clean ones first," Ed explained.

"You got nothin' to worry about then," said Eddy, turning away from Ed to breathe in some fresh air. Standing perfectly still, there was not a sound to be heard. _Maybe he took off with the goods,_ thought Eddy, trying to add up his missing collection with his missing friend. But right next to the sleeping bag was Double D's safety kit. _If Sockhead really split with my stuff, why didn't he take his? _Even more perplexing, the jawbreaker that Double D had so relished only a few hours earlier, was still neatly sealed and labeled in its own little compartment. That was entirely unbelievable. "Come on. We gotta find him." When he listened to himself, he didn't want to sound as attached to Double D as he feared his concern revealed him to be, even if only to Ed. Quickly, Eddy added, "Well, we need to get my stuff back, and only Dr. Disappearo can track it down."

"Ooh, ooh, I'm the best stuff finder!" Ed announced, beginning to feel competitive with Double D. "Stuff is never in the last place I look, 'cos I keep looking after I find it."

"Where would I be without you?" grumbled Eddy.

The rhetorical question lost on Ed, Ed pondered. "Stuck to Jonny's wall?"

Eddy ignored this and led Ed into the kitchen. It was dark and empty. Eddy had hoped that his mother's newfound lust for organic foods would come in handy. Soy milk and unidentifiable vegetables would certainly appeal to Double D, and if he ate them, they wouldn't be around for dinner the next day. Eddy opened the fridge door to find a stockpile of foods that Eddy would only touch if a sizable chunk of change was on offer. "He hasn't been in here," puffed Eddy, growing concerned. Remembering that he didn't want to sound soft, not even in front of Ed, Eddy blustered, "Damn. I know I'll see those again." He shut the door on the organic goodies.

From the hall beyond the kitchen, came Ed merrily singing:

_One, two, there's my shoe_

_Three, four, there's some more_

_Five, six, monster flicks_

_Seven, eight, horrible fate!_

"Grrrrrarrr!" roared Ed, holding up a flashlight and making spooky faces. "I will make your nose seek refuge in your brain!"

"Ed! Why don't you just scream the movie so the whole cul-de-sac can..." As Ed's arms lowered, the beam of light swept across the welcome mat. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight shoes. Four pairs? "Sockhead never goes anywhere in bare feet. And where did these bruisers come from?" Eddy moved in to examine the biggest pair of shoes. They were a huge pair of fancy basketball shoes, larger even than Ed's rotten old sneakers. Eddy knew who had shoes like that, and it was no stench mutant. It was worse. It was his brother. Instantly, everything made sense. Almost everything. _He's got Double D. But why?_ No one had to know Eddy's brother long before figuring out that everything Eddy's brother touched, he destroyed. "Come on, Stinky," said Eddy severely. "We got a zombie to grease."

"I'm ready to go like Ivanhoe," said Ed, ripping off his undershirt and making fists as Eddy led the way down the hall. Turning the corner, a sliver of light was visible under the door to Eddy's brother's lair.

On the other side of the door, Double D lay pinned as Eddy's brother drilled into him. His breath came in short gasps, and he felt lightheaded even though he was on his back. He was exhausted, too depleted to hold back his sobs. It was of no consequence; the worst was already happening.

Eddy's brother tossed his head and snorted. "Beg me to cum for you," he growled. Double D hesitated. He knew he had to produce the words, but his mouth was not cooperating. To use words that even hinted at vulgarity was difficult. The words left a bad taste in his mouth, so much so that he had compulsively washed his own mouth out with soap on more than one occasion. When Double D made no response, Eddy's brother gave a violent thrust and pressed all his weight onto his captive, knocking the air out of Double D. "Come on, bitch. Say it."

Double D struggled and choked out, "I want your... I-I want it." Even though he did not say the word, it sickened him.

Running a hand through Double D's hair, Eddy's brother continued to thrust, more rapidly, more powerfully. He bucked his hips and forced his entire length inside Double D. Eddy's brother yanked back on Double D's hair and groaned. As he withdrew, warm liquid spilled down onto the bed. A fistful of Double D's hair had come loose in his hand. He tossed it aside and looked down at Double D, his naked body covered with blood and bruises. Eddy's brother smirked and pulled on a pair of boxers.

Slowly, Double D raised his head. He wanted to keep track of Eddy's brother, but he did not want to look at him. Seeing Double D's uncovered head reminded Eddy's brother of the hat. He picked it up and gave it a twirl. "You'll be needing this back." He dangled the hat above Double D's head. Aching all over, Double D made a desperate grab for the hat, but missed. Eddy's brother tossed the hat into Double D's face. Wishing he could disappear inside his hat, Double D placed it back on his head, feeling a little better knowing that his secret was concealed from cruel eyes.

"Looks like you got your period," said Eddy's brother, pointing at the bed. Double D looked at the sheets beneath him and saw the red stain. "Hope you brought a tampon!" jeered Eddy's brother.

_Where could Eddy be?_ wondered Double D, wishing that Eddy had come to the rescue. _No. He mustn't see me this way._ Double D began to wipe his eyes, but was jostled as Eddy's brother flopped down on the bed, then ran a teasing finger up Double D's spine.

In the hall, Eddy stared at the locked door. "He's gotta be in there. It's time we put my has-been of a bro in his place. You know what to do."

Ed saluted and backed up against the opposite wall. "Stench mutants! Charge!" boomed Ed as he bolted headfirst towards the door at top speed.


	4. Keep Your Hands Off My Ed

BASH! The human battering ram burst through the heavily fortified door to Eddy's brother's room. Ed skidded to a stop in the middle of the room and resembled bold Lothar the Berserker. Eddy's brother, who was running his hands across Double D's body, looked up in confusion as splinters from the door rained down. Double D's face was buried in his hands, but when he looked up to see Ed standing tall and bold and Eddy appearing where the door had been, Double D brushed aside his guilt and was relieved to see his pals. Though he wished that they couldn't see him just yet.

Eddy's brother gulped down the rest of his beer and sneered at Ed and Eddy. "So, you guys here for more?" said Eddy's brother, using the remote on his keychain to pop open his car's trunk, revealing a grand collection of magazines. "Grab whatcha need... for a nominal fee," Eddy's brother sighed, running a hand up Double D's bare thigh. His tear-stained face going scarlet, Double D grabbed for his sleeper to cover himself.

"Not interested," snarled Eddy, emphatically. "Let 'im go."

"Too late, Pipsqueak. I been havin' some fun with your girlfriend here. I've had better, but I gotta say you found yourself a little freak." Eddy's brother made a move to touch Double D again.

Eddy dashed for the edge of the bed until his face was up against his brother's. He definitely did not feel as small as he was. "Touch him and I'll..."

"You'll what?" taunted his brother.

Before he could think twice, Eddy slugged his brother in the chin. "Motherfucker!" bellowed Eddy's brother, reeling in shock more than pain. Eddy had stood up to him once. It was unbelievable to him that Eddy would have the balls to do it twice. Eddy's brother sat up and rubbed his jaw. Double D held a hand up to his mouth to cover a hint of a smile. Glaring back and Ed and Eddy, Eddy's brother growled, "So this is how we're playin'. Fine." Eddy's brother dug his nails into the back of Double D's neck and heaved him onto the floor. "There's your little slut back. Now we're even."

"Not quite," Eddy seethed, grasping his brother's tee shirt.

Ed grabbed hold, too. His big hands were more powerful than Eddy's brother expected. But the one-time dictator of the cul-de-sac was shaken when Ed jumped up, his feet landing on Eddy's brother's stomach. With the wind knocked out of Eddy's brother, Ed grasped the man's sideburns, and blared as loudly as he could, "HORRIBLE FATE!"

Even though Ed's mind worked in mysterious ways, Eddy and Double D knew that one thing was certain. If the normally affable Ed's rage was triggered, the instigator was really in for it. Ed's morning breath combined with the force of the yell was enough to paralyze Eddy's brother. Ed ripped open Eddy's brother's tee shirt, although in his eyes, he was disemboweling a zombie. Ed then administered the fiercest purple nurples he could, just as he learned from the Kanker sisters – the hard way.

While Ed scuffled with Eddy's brother, whose shock was wearing off and who was now fighting to peel Ed away, Eddy climbed aboard the heater to reach his brother's prized possessions on the high shelf. His hand brushed against the clumsily taped gold trophy. Eddy grabbed the trophy and crept up behind the bed. Eddy's brother got an arm free from Ed and picked up the empty beer bottle, plotting to split Ed's skull with it. Before he could, Ed sank his teeth into Eddy's brother's free arm. Eddy raised up the trophy and smashed it against the side of his brother's head. The stem broke, and Eddy tossed it aside.

Dizzy, but angrier than ever, Eddy's brother flew at Eddy, who scrambled up the stuffed camel and began to pummel his brother with anything he could get his hands on. Eddy's brother grabbed the camel's legs and prepared to shake Eddy down. Ed jumped on his back and grasped Eddy's brother's scalp. "I'd kill you if you weren't already dead, zombie!" Ed announced and shoved Eddy's brother's face right into an armpit equipped with three weeks worth of unwashed stench.

"Nnnngh gmmmmfff!" Eddy's brother's protest was muffled. His arms thrashed, but blinded by Ed's pit and its overpowering odor, his retaliation was worse than useless. Eddy jumped down from the camel, landing right on his brother's chest. With the wind knocked out of him, Eddy's brother was forced to take in another great whiff of the armpit.

Now that Eddy had a chance to really process what his brother had been doing, Eddy was repulsed, barely able to look at him. Years of taking what his brother dished out came to a head. Eddy kicked his brother in the stomach with all the force he had. Again. And again. He grabbed the beer bottle and pounded his brother with it until it broke. "Who's a pipsqueak now, bro? Huh?" Eddy grabbed the shards of the bottle, taking no notice of how they sliced up his hands, and dragged them across his brother's flesh.

Eddy's brother freed himself from Ed's armpit, but he could see that he was fighting a losing battle. "Okay, okay, lay off pi- uh, Eddy. I'll buzz off."

Eddy did not budge. "If you meet our demands, we'll let you go."

Rolling his eyes, but ready to be done with the venture, Eddy's brother relented. "A'ight. Whaddaya want?"

Ed spoke, or rather, shouted first. "WHERE'S PHILLIP?"

"What the f-"

"The bottlecap," interrupted Eddy.

"In my jacket."

Ed grabbed the jacket and rummaged through it, calling, "Speak to me, Phillip!" Ed's expression softened as he retrieved the smiling bottlecap from a pocket. "Aww, you missed me." Out of the corner of his eye, Ed spotted the bottlecap from Eddy's brother's beer. He picked it up and held them up together. "Aren't we a wonderful family, Eddy?"

Before his brother could weasel out of making complete restitution, Eddy continued the demands. "All my stuff back, with interest." Ed held up Eddy's brother's jacket, turned it upside down, and sure enough, a pile of Eddy's belongings formed on the floor. In the pile were other items of interest, just as Eddy had hoped, like a monogrammed flask and Eddy's brother's dislodged gold tooth. Wanting to be sure that his brother understood the gravity of the exchange, he added, "My keys." Eddy's brother grudgingly handed them over. Eddy twirled them and stuffed them in a pocket.

"That it?" asked Eddy's brother.

"One more thing," said Eddy. He pulled his brother's ear close to his mouth and added, "Lay a finger on Double D again, and you'll be wearing your dick for a necktie."

"I got it," said Eddy's brother resentfully, shoving Eddy aside. He got up, dusted himself off, and dressed quickly. Once at the hole where the door had been, he looked back at Ed and Eddy, who showed no signs of backing down. He shrugged and disappeared. There were other places he could have his way with greater payoffs and less resistance. Ed and Eddy did not move until they heard the engine of Eddy's brother's car turn on and then fade away into the distance.

Worn out but victorious, Ed and Eddy bumped fists. They dared to dream that Eddy's brother, self-appointed dictator of the cul-de-sac had been deposed for good. Ed and Eddy began to scoop up Eddy's collection, but then Eddy remembered Double D. He left Ed to return the loot to its rightful place and looked for the most important part of the deal.

His heart stopped when he saw the blood on the bed. Eddy forgot his collection, and even forgot Ed. He was terrified to learn what had become of Double D, and he didn't care who knew it. "Double D? Where are ya, man?" The room was destroyed, but Eddy ploughed tirelessly through the debris. Going quiet, Eddy knelt on the floor beside the bed and lifted up the blanket that draped to the floor. There, amidst the magazines and clothes was Double D, lying curled up on his side. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he was motionless except for his little sides heaving.

"Hey, come on out," Eddy began, reaching out to Double D.

Double D opened his eyes. With the light of the room at Eddy's back, his face was obscured, and all Double D could see was the malevolent older sibling. Double D recoiled from Eddy and held out his arms. "In the name of all things decent, don't come any closer!"

There was a time when Eddy enjoyed riding on his brother's coattails to instill fear in the cul-de-sac kids. That was over. Double D's fear and pain was the ultimate price for using his brother to garner "respect" and fulfill some whims. "Double D, it's Eddy. Please come out," coaxed Eddy. "Please."

Double D took a good look at the silhouette before him. It was Eddy, alright. And hearing the vulnerability in Eddy's voice calmed Double D. Double D backed up further until he emerged on the opposite side of the bed. He rose slowly to his feet, so as not to trigger any excess pain. Eddy rose too, and they regarded each other from across the bed. Double D saw that Eddy was dotted with cuts and bruises, but was otherwise fine. Eddy, victorious over his brother, was a welcome sight to see. Suddenly, Double D remembered his nudity and self-consciously rushed to cover himself.

A little embarrassed as well, Eddy turned away to allow Double D his privacy. He was more concerned about Double D's safety than his body, but Eddy felt a nagging temptation to sneak a covert glimpse of Double D. Still, he kept his eyes focused straight ahead until he heard Double D's reedy voice. Double D picked up the tattered yellow sleeper and tied it around his waist. "You may look." Eddy did look, but it was not easy. How could he look at his friend, see the blood and bruises, know what had happened behind the locked door, and not show a reaction? If there was a correct response to Double D's condition, Eddy did not know it. A lack of response was not appropriate, either.

After Eddy gave a speechless, sidelong glance at Double D for several seconds, Double D's emotions took over. "Go ahead. Feast your eyes on me. I am damaged property, a disgrace to our friendship. Incapable of saying 'no' to your insidious sibling." Double D thought of how he had looked at the forbidden adult magazines and had given in to unwanted pleasure when Eddy's brother made him hard. The messy feeling welled up again. "I received no less than I deserve, I suppose. I... I need to wash." Nothing mattered except getting away.

Running as fast as his short, wobbly legs could carry him, Double D made his way down the hall to Eddy's bathroom with Eddy chasing after him and gaining. "Double D, hold on, that's not what..." Double D made it to the bathroom, shut the door and turned on the shower. Over the water, Double D could hear Eddy's fists beating on the door. "Hey, I just wanna talk..."

Double D whimpered and stepped into the shower, hoping that the stream pouring over his ears would drown out the world beyond the shower's glass walls. He hated that he was still unclothed, but within the confines of the shower, it was acceptable, natural. But his hat remained firmly on his head. In his mind, it was just as contaminated as his body. He washed himself vigourously as he always did, but derived no comfort from it. He scrubbed his skin, delicate as the wings of the butterflies in his collection, until it was all over raw and pink. He just wanted to be clean again.

In the hall, Eddy pulled down the wallpaper that usually obscured his brother's door. He pasted the paper over the door to ensure that the door stayed closed. He looked into his own room. Ed had replaced the music memorabilia on the dresser and was sitting on the floor shoving pork rinds into his mouth and making a necklace out of Phillip and his new bottlecap, to whom he was cooing in low tones, "Awww, Beatrix, you sparkle pretty."

Eddy was alone. He had kicked out his brother, possibly for good, so Double D wouldn't have to face him. But now his sorry excuse for a brother would never have to own up to what he had done. And Ed. Ed had sought revenge on Double D's captor and got it. But he was content with that and had moved on. He certainly didn't understand what had happened to Double D behind that door. Eddy sat despondent outside the bathroom door. He was determined to wait as long as he had to. _I owe him that much._


	5. A Little Ed Goes a Long Way

_ I needn't burden Eddy,_ thought Double D as the shower steamed up around him. The warm shower began to relax his tense muscles. But no amount of water and soap could scrub away the image of Eddy's brother grunting above him. It was indelible. Double D got lost in the pattering of the water landing on his skin. He just wanted the untainted friendship back.

Eddy sat against the door, his impatience turning into worry. "What's he doing in there, starting his own space program?" Pressing an ear to the door, Eddy heard nothing except the water. Eddy shook his head, "Heh heh, I hope he's not so upset he did something stupid." The obsessive boy was the smartest person Eddy knew, but Eddy also knew that powerful emotions could completely overtake Double D.

**THUD.** Eddy heard something hit the tile floor in the bathroom. Already primed to think the worst, Eddy leapt up and used the "key" to his brother's room, a large crowbar, to open the door. When he burst into the room, he could see nothing for a steamy fog, but he could hear Double D shriek in terror. When the steam cleared, there was Double D, standing in the shower, the water droplets on his body glistening. In his hand was a bottle of shampoo. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, Eddy tried to play it cool. Which was difficult, as he found himself confronted again with Double D's exposed body. "Oh. Uh, what the hell? This isn't my room. Ed must have switched the doors on me, you know, as a prank. That crazy lump."

"Eddy, you gave me a fright!" Double D scolded. "Can't a person drop the shampoo without being ambushed?"

Even though the naïve Double D wouldn't hear the cruel irony in his words, Eddy had to turn away to hide his beet-red face. He'd heard his brother throw the phrase around after doing time in juvie. The last thing he wanted was for his expression to give it away and give Double D something else to trouble him. "I didn't mean to," sputtered Eddy. "I just..."

"Just burst in to gawk at your brother's latest conquest?" Double D demanded, his voice rising.

Eddy spun back around. "Chill out, Double D."

"Easier said than done." Double D wanted to rewind the evening back to drinking sodas and watching Ed scarf down pork rinds. One of many good times. But now he feared that Eddy would never see him as his friend anymore, only as one of his brother's faceless victims. It would be better to walk away while the memories were still good. "Bid Ed farewell. I am going home where I may be free of prying eyes... and hands." Double D added, seeing Eddy extend a towel towards him. He was on guard to treat any hand as a threatening hand.

Eddy sighed and hung the towel over the side of the shower stall. "Take your time. I'll pack up your stuff for ya and leave it by the door." He knew that there was no sense pushing Double D, but that didn't make it any easier to let go of his longtime friend. He silently cursed his brother, who had managed to ruin the most important thing in Eddy's life, even more important than the acquisition of jawbreakers. Eddy would never see Double D as damaged, but he feared that the friendship was irreparable. Without another word, or even turning to look back at Double D, Eddy headed back to his room, where at least he would have Ed around.

Alone in the shower again, privacy didn't feel as good as Double D had expected. He had pushed away his friend, and for what? So Eddy wouldn't reject him first? Double D turned off the water with one hand and pulled the towel down with the other. He quickly dried himself and tied the towel around his hips, then timidly followed Eddy.

Across the hall in Eddy's room, Double D saw Ed greet Eddy and wrap him in a circulation stopping hug. It looked like it felt warm and cosy. Ed was excitedly sharing a story with Eddy and holding up some shiny objects dangling from a string. Eddy might have been listening, but was more focused on gently packing up Double D's belongings in the sleek shoulder bag, leaving labels undisturbed. This was especially significant to Double D, who had grown accustomed to Eddy's friendly mocking of the labeling compulsion, but was now following the ritual perfectly to ensure that Double D was at ease.

This deserved thanks, at least. Double D closed the door and stepped back into his sleeper and zipped himself in. Being clothed again was a warm, safe feeling. It couldn't take him back to the swaddled innocence he enjoyed earlier that night, but it was a step in the right direction. Now that the sense of urgency to escape had left him, his body began to process the lingering pain. Nevertheless, Double D crept across the hall, moving as quickly as he could to Eddy's room.

The lava lamp glowed. Ed was playing X's and O's with Eddy, but Eddy was not playing with him. Eddy had an issue of _Hot Rods_ open across his lap. Cars were not quite as interesting to Eddy as the dangerous curves he could see in _Jiggy Jiggy_, but he really wasn't in the mood for a girlie mag. Eddy drew a half-hearted circle. Ed's eyebrow furrowed. "That spells T-R-U-B-L for Y-O-O!" said Ed, who drew slices of toast in the final empty square. "Tick-tack-toast. I win!" announced Ed, drawing a circle around his three-in-a-row pictures of a tick sucking blood, a tack on a chair, and the toast.

"You're a pro, Ed." Eddy flipped to the next page in his magazine. Ed's perfect mood was fine and good, but it felt empty after seeing Double D.

Ed sensed that he did not have Eddy's full attention. "Aww, don't be a sad sack. You can go first this time."

"That's alright, Ed." Eddy looked up to see Double D, trying to pick up his overnight bag and having some difficulty. "Need a hand over there?"

"No thank you."

"My toe is oozing," said Ed, holding up the toe he had stubbed earlier for all to see. Then he looked at Double D and jumped in shock. "Double D, you look like three days of bad waffles."

Double D felt the need to rush back to the bathroom to see the extent of the damage, but he stood firm. "That is not at all polite," Double D chided. Eddy's eyes were locked on Double D, entirely expecting his friend to turn and walk out of his room. And his life. Double D looked at Eddy. "Have you no shame?" Double D squealed, sinking to his knees before Eddy. "Doesn't it occur to you that I have been..." Double D glanced over at Ed, who was licking crumbs out of the empty package of pork rinds, but still very much listening. He needed to choose his words carefully, not wanting Ed to be unnecessarily confused or frightened. "...I have been a victim of the ultimate of evils?"

"Evil Tim?" guessed Ed. But Eddy and Double D ignored him.

"Relax," said Eddy, who wished that the whole situation would just go away. He wanted to smooth things over, but had never been the best mediator. "I was just seeing if you needed help."

"A little late to offer help, I believe," Double D snapped. He wanted to stop himself, but pain seized him from inside and out. "You invited me into this lion's den."

"So now it's my fault?" His concern for Double D was being overshadowed with the instinct to defend himself. _Who does this guy think he is? I saved him. He should be kissin' the ground I walk on._

Double D's logic told him that it was not Eddy's fault. But Eddy had helped set up the stage for a tragedy. His humiliation was turning into fury, and rose to a fever pitch. On all fours, he approached Eddy until the two were face to face. "I suppose dealing with a rapscallion absolves you of culpability?"

"What?" Eddy was trying to keep up. "I'm not allowed to SEE you?"

"It was one thing to sit by while I was robbed of my innocence, but it is quite another to unabashedly stare at my ravaged body."

Eddy was tired of being spoken to as if he had been the one who forced himself on Double D. He would never have crossed that line. "I got your shit together. You can leave. I'm not stoppin' ya."

Ed, who had completely lost the plot, pictured Double D being tossed around in a mosh pit of lions, zombies, and stench mutants while Evil Tim looked on from a bone throne up above. Ed didn't know exactly what the tension was about, but he felt the tension and it was uncomfortable.

"It feels like a wedgie in here!" shouted Ed, covering his ears. "Make it stop!"

Double D looked over at Ed, who was spinning on his rear end. "Deep breaths, Ed," instructed Double D, patting Ed's shoulder and immediately wiping his hands with disinfectant. "You don't want to hyperventilate." Ed inhaled and exhaled deeply. Feeling warm and drowsy, Ed yawned.

"Feel better, Monobrow?" asked Eddy, handing Ed the string holding Phillip and Beatrix together.

"Like fresh boxers, Eddy." Ed crawled into his grungy sleeping bag headfirst.

Spending some time focusing on Ed helped diffuse some of the fight in Eddy and Double D. Still, Eddy was at a loss. "Look, I wanted to help you, but I guess I can't."

"Perhaps not." Double D wanted to be close to Eddy, but feared that he had lost his chance now that Eddy's brother had taken him. There was nothing Eddy could do except offer kindness and understanding, and despite Double D's feelings about Eddy, he knew that the likelihood of that was low. Double D looked down at the floor. The effects of the shower were wearing off. He felt filthy. Another shower would only be a quick fix. He needed to treat the problem, not the symptoms. He looked up at Eddy. His voice returned to its usual soft tones. "Could you try?"

Coolly watching his lava lamp bubbling, Eddy gave Double D a sidelong glance, trying to avoid the accusation of staring. When he saw Double D's eyes glistening with tears, everything changed. "Yeah," he said gently, wanting to be helpful. He saw some of the hurt in Double D's face fade away. Then Double D threw himself into Eddy's arms.

"Oh, Eddy! I'm sorry I laid misplaced blame on you. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Double D wailed.

Eddy had been brought up to see emotions as strange girl-things, and that he was to avoid them. Having his friend, a young man, clutching at him, weeping, begging, was far outside his comfort zone. His first instinct was to peel Double D away and tell him to knock off that sissy stuff, but Eddy squashed it. Instead, he placed a tentative, then comforting hand on Double D's back. His friend needed him. And he didn't care who knew. "You didn't do anything wrong, man," said Eddy. And he meant every word of it. Double D was sobbing, but he was a man, who had been through a lot and deserved none of it.

Those words hit the mark. Double D looked up. "You mean it?"

"You know it," said Eddy. He pulled Double D in closer. _What would Double D say at a time like this?_ Eddy wondered, then he got it. "If you, uh, need to talk about anything, um... I'm here for ya."

"I'm afraid," said Double D.

"My brother's an assho- er, a jerk," said Eddy. His anger at his brother was intense, but he tried to tame it for Double D's sake. "But me and Lumpy showed him what happens when he messes with the Eds. He's not coming back anytime soon, if he knows what's good for 'im."

A subtle flush of pink crossed Double D's face. "I trust you," he said. "But your brother failed to use protection, and I... I'm afraid." Double D remembered echoes of Eddy's brother's bragging of previous exploits, and Double D could only imagine what Eddy's brother might have picked up and passed on.

Eddy slowly lifted Double D's chin and looked into his eyes, "Hey. We're gonna get through this. No matter what. 'kay?" Eddy couldn't erase what had happened, but he was doing his best with the aftermath. And that was a good start for Double D.

Letting himself relax a little, Double D cooed, "Thank you, Eddy." With tears not yet dry in his big eyes, Double D rolled over and sighed. His arms wrapped around Eddy in a reflex, and a hint of a smile brightened up the sleepy boy's face. Eddy smiled back. Eddy's machismo usually controlled his every behaviour, but just that night, it was off duty. He rubbed Double D's shoulders. No, their friendship would never be quite the same. But it was going to be as strong as ever.


End file.
